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Joker Quotes – The Joker’s Craziest Quotes of All Time


“I believe whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you stranger.”
― The Joker Heath Ledger

“Nobody panics when things go “according to plan”. Even if the plan is horrifying!”
― The Joker Heath Ledger

“You see, in their last moments people show you who they really are.”
― The Joker Heath Ledger

“Does it depress you? To know just how alone you really are?”
― The Joker Heath Ledger

“Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”
― Marissa Meyer, Heartless

“…My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was. I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can’t you?”
― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke

“I don’t just randomly kill people… I kill people when it’s funny.”
― Neil Gaiman, Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?

“I may be a criminal lunatic, but I’m an AMERICAN criminal lunatic!”
― John Byrne, Batman/Captain America

“I’m thinking of killing everyone whose name is a palindrome”
― Dan Slott, Arkham Asylum: Living Hell

“All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them!”
― Christopher Nolan The Dark Knight

“Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all the… little emotions. In… you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?”
― Christopher Nolan The Dark Knight

“The Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know… You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it’s all “part of the plan”. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds. Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair!”
― Christopher Nolan The Dark Knight

The Joker as sadistic chaos, the Batman as merciless order. This mirror-image theme would come to define the two characters’ relationship in the comics and across all media for the next forty years.”
― Glen Weldon, The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture

“The Joker: Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these… these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.”
― Christopher Nolan The Dark Knight

“You’re looking…good enough to eat. Figuratively speaking, I’m strictly vegan.”
― Marv Wolfman, Suicide Squad

“How close, Frost?”
“Real close, boss. I swear on my life.”
Joker slowly looked up, eyes glistening with black hope. The fire in his madness was still burning.
“If you’re going to swear, swear on something that matters.”
― Marv Wolfman, Suicide Squad

“A joker is a little fool who is different from everyone else. He’s not a club, diamond, heart, or spade. He’s not an eight or a nine, a king or a jack. He is an outsider. He is placed in the same pack as the other cards, but he doesn’t belong there. Therefore, he can be removed without anybody missing him.”
― Jostein Gaarder, The Solitaire Mystery

“If I have to have a past, then I prefer it to be multiple choice.”
― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke

“Enough madness? Enough? And how do you measure madness?
― Grant Morrison, Batman: Arkham Asylum

“The joke loses everything when the joker laughs himself.”
― Friedrich von Schiller, Die Verschwörung des Fiesco zu Genua

“Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just… *do* things.”
― The Joker – Heath Ledger

“Don’t talk like you’re one of them! You’re not… even if you’d like to be. To them you’re just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their “code”… it’s a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you. When the chips are down, these uh, these “civilized people”, they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.”
― Christopher Nolan

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