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Raunchy Rhymes with Andrew Dice Clay: A Vulgarly Hilarious Collection

Offensive and unapologetic: Andrew Dice Clay’s controversial poetry on love and relationships

Welcome to our page dedicated to the razor-sharp poetry of Andrew Dice Clay! If you’re a fan of his unique brand of humor, you’re definitely in for a treat. We’ve gathered a collection of his most memorable poems, covering everything from love and relationships to the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

Some of these poems may be a bit edgier than what you’re used to, but that’s all part of the Dice Man’s appeal. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or a thought-provoking insight, you’re sure to find something that speaks to you.

So kick back, relax, and enjoy some of the most hilarious and irreverent poetry around. Who knows, you might even discover your new favorite poem (or at least one that makes you cringe and giggle at the same time). Just remember, this page is not for the faint of heart!

Short Poems

1. Name: “Dice”
Dice is the name, the game is the same
I talk sh*t and get paid, that’s my claim to fame
My jokes are crude, my words are true
But you can’t deny the laughter I spew

2. Name: “The Joker”
I’m the Joker, the king of the stand-up scene
My humor’s dark, my jokes obscene
I walk a fine line between right and wrong
But the audience loves me, they sing my song

3. Name: “Raw and Uncensored”
My mouth is a weapon, my words a shock
I don’t hold back, I rock the block
My humor’s raw, my style obscene
But my fans keep coming, from every scene

4. Name: “The Legend”
Andrew Dice Clay, the name rings bells
I’m a legend in the game, you can’t deny what sells
My jokes are cheap, my style is true
But my fans are loyal, they know what I do

Medium Poems

1. “The Misadventures of Jack and Jill”
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water,
But when they got to the top
They saw a sight that made them falter.

The moon was full and bright
But something was not quite right
For there upon the rocky ledge
Stood a shadowy figure on the edge.

It was the witch who lived nearby
And she was cackling at the sky
But Jack and Jill were not afraid
They knew just what to do, they said.

They ran back down the hill so quick
And found a broomstick that would stick
They raced back up to the witch’s lair
Ready to fight, without a care.

The witch was waiting at her door
But Jack and Jill were ready for more
They swooped in and grabbed her broom
And took her by surprise, with a boomin’ boom!

They rode off into the night
With the witch screaming in fright,
And they never looked back once
Feeling proud of their successful stunt.

2. “Broken Dreams”
Broken dreams lay shattered on the floor
I thought I had the world, but nothing more
I see the pieces of what should be
Wondering what happened to the rest of me.

I reach out to pick them up
But each shard is sharper than a cup
I cut myself and start to bleed
This was not the life I had believed.

I try to force the pieces back in place
But they won’t fit, there’s no space
I scream out loud, “Why me?”
But nobody answers, there’s no key.

To unlock the pain, to find the truth,
To heal the wounds from my youth
But maybe all I need is time alone
To mend the broken dreams on my own.

3. “The Butterfly’s Journey”
A tiny butterfly soars through the sky
With grace and beauty, it catches my eye
Fluttering wings of vibrant hue
In search of something fresh and new.

Its journey takes it far and wide
Over mountains, oceans and countryside
And through it all, it never tires
But somehow always finds what it desires.

The sun shines down from high above
And warms its wings with gentle love
But when the night comes, it must rest
To dream of places yet to be blessed.

This butterfly reminds me of life
A journey full of joy and strife
But as long as we keep moving forward
We’ll find our way, and never be a coward.

Long Poems

The Rise and Fall of Andrew Dice Clay

Once upon a time, in the land of stand-up comedy,
A man with a leather jacket and a pompadour so greasy,
Would shock and awe the audience with jokes that were blue,
And that man was Andrew Dice Clay, the king of taboo.

His rhymes were misogynistic, his language crude and crass,
He would talk about women, and make jokes about their ass,
But the crowds laughed and cheered, as he brought them to their knees,
And Andrew Dice Clay became the king of comedy, with ease.

His fame grew and grew, he starred in movies and TV,
He played a parody of himself, and became a celebrity,
He was the bad boy of Hollywood, the man who wouldn’t change,
But behind the scenes, he was fighting an internal rage.

As the years went by, Dice started to fade,
His jokes were outdated, and his fame began to evade,
He tried to reinvent himself, but it was too little too late,
And the once great Dice was now fighting his own fate.

He became a punchline, a relic of the past,
No longer the king of comedy, but a shadow cast,
And as the laughter died, so did the man himself,
Drugs and alcohol consumed him, his life a living hell.

The rise and fall of Andrew Dice Clay, a cautionary tale,
Of a man who reached the top, but could not prevail,
His legacy of blue humor, a reminder of the past,
But his downfall a warning, that nothing lasts.

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